How I Learned to Love Ron Artest

In 2009 I hated the Houston Rockets. During the seven game series between the Lakers and the Rockets I even hated them more than the Boston Celtics, New York Yankees, and the SEC. Absolute disdain. I hated Shane Battier and his flawless defense. I hated Aaron Brooks every time he would fly by the slower Derek Fisher. I absolutely hated everything about Luis Scola - especially his greasy nasty hair. Perhaps most of all I hated Ron Artest. I hated him for the melee, I hated his toughness, I hated his outside shot, I hated him.

By contrast, I loved Trevor Ariza. I loved that he went undrafted, loved that he always played hard, loved his three point shooting, most of all I loved the pivotal steals he made during the series with the Rockets. After that series I had decided that the next time I was back in Los Angeles I was going to buy my first Laker jersey, and it would say Ariza.

Then summer rolled around and the Lakers effectively traded my favorite Laker for Ron - I’m going to jump in the stands and murder you - Artest. As a Laker fan I was more than a little on edge. I understood that Ariza was asking for too much money, but Artest? Really?
During the regular season Ron Ron stunk. His offensive numbers dropped dramatically: 17.1 ppg – 11.0 ppg; 5.2 rpg – 4.3 rpg; .748 ft% - .688 ft%; .399 3% - .3555. More disconcerting than Ron’s offensive struggles was the fact that he just didn’t seem as tough. He no longer imposed fear on those he guarded.

Then the playoffs started and Artest threw up two consecutive stink bombs. Game 1: 3-11 shooting and 3 rebounds; Game 2: 2-10 shooting and 4 rebounds. Most notably his three-point shooting was off – way off. During the first round of the playoffs Artest shot a miserable .188% from behind the ark. That’s when the public really turned on him. Every time he got the ball thousands of fans offered silent prayers that he would not shoot. As my roommates pointed out he became the most disrespected starter on an NBA team.

That was the first time I started rooting for Artest. My heart broke for him. It seemed clear that all he wanted to do was put his past behind him. He just wanted the city of L.A. to love him. Instead they hated him. They missed Ariza. They were secretly expecting him to blow up and kill someone at any moment.

He played better during the Utah series, including a brilliant game three on the road. During that game he shot 7-13 and hit 4 three pointers. The Lakers won the game by one point and nailed sucked all the remaining life from the Jazz. And yet, Artest was still disrespected. I started to root for him even more.

He played even better during the Phoenix series. He averaged over 14 points, including a series changing game winner and a 25 point throw down in game 6. Ron Artest was secretly becoming one of my favorites.

Finally, the Lakers met up with the Boston Celtics. Oh how I loathe the Celtics. I am sure that there are few greater pleasures in the world than punching Brian Scalabrine in the face. I am too young to really remember the epic wars in the 60’s and 80’s, but 2008 is more than enough for me. The game 4 meltdown during the 2008 series still gives me nightmares. I cringe when I think of Paul Peirce and that stupid wheelchair.

I was more than a little scared before the start of that first game. But the Lakers came out on fire and wasted the Celtics. The Lakers best player – Ron Artest. The Lakers were an amazing +26 when he was on the court. He shot over 50% from the field, 60% from 3 point land, and 100% from the free throw line. Over the next few games Ron accepted his role as a lock down defender. Paul Pierce still got his points, but it was clear the Lakers were a much better team when Artest was on the court. I really really liked Artest now. I even made some occasional facebook comments about how great he was.

Then Ron Artest won game 7. And make no mistake he was the one who won it. During that first half Kobe and Pau were freaked out of their minds. Every shot that Kobe took was awful. No one could hit the shots that Kobe was taking. And Pau was so nervous that he couldn’t hit a free throw to save his life. (Gasol shot 79% during the season and just 54% during game 7.) Ron Artest on the other hand had 12 second quarter points. He kept the Lakers alive offensively until the rest of the team calmed down Ron stayed awesome down the stretch, hitting a crucial three pointer in the 4th and finishing the game with 20 points. Defensively Artest was even better. He Force Paul Pierce into 5-15 shooting and had 5 steals. Ron Artest was my MVP of the series.

You would think that after his performance during the game I couldn’t get any higher on Ron Artest. You would think wrong. His post game interviews were the funniest things I have seen in a long time. He was bouncing around like a little kid on crack. He thanked his psychiatrist for helping him calm down. He thanked his Dad for beating him up as a kid. He told the world that he was crying before the game. He told the world he was dumb. He even admitted that he didn’t realize he was playing for the championship until they handed him a championship hat. However my favorite correspondence was regarding his crucial three-pointer. He told the world that before he shot the ball he heard the voice of Coach Phil Jackson telling him not to shoot and the voice of God telling him to shoot it.

It is no wonder that Luke Walton said that there is no one on the team that they root for more than Ron. I freaking love Ron Artest.